When it comes to setting limits it is difficult, we do not know to what extent we should say yes or no. Without a doubt, as parents it is a very big responsibility that we have in our hands.
Raising and educating our children is not easy, and when it comes to setting limits it is worse; to what extent should we say yes or no so as not to cause trauma or limit their development, or simply when and how to do it so that they do not become "tantrum children" and that they do not fit anywhere (as some grannies used to say).
Undoubtedly, as parents it is a very big responsibility that we have in our hands, however, there are some keys to the Montessori method that can help us, without losing their freedom or independence that are very useful for their development.
1. Create an environment with clear boundaries. Don't always say yes, don't always say no. Try to find a balance or middle ground so as not to fall into the excessively permissive or strict.
2. He sets limits when he pays attention to you. If he is doing another activity, be sure that he will not understand it as you would like.
3. Be empathetic with your child so that he feels that you understand him and thus he is more receptive to limits.
4. Stay calm when setting limits, avoid yelling, and use a firm but loving voice.
5. Boundaries need to be clear and consistent to have the effect you want. Do not fall into contradictions; Remember that they must have a coherence of action and time.
6. Express concrete and concise ideas such as “use words instead of punches”.
7. Be flexible when required. Limits are often not appropriate in certain circumstances.
8. Establish them when they are really necessary, that is, when it affects the freedom of another person. Let's teach to respect others.
9. Adapt the limits to the growth of the child and that they reflect his knowledge and abilities.
10. Establish them from an early age, so it will be easier for him to develop independence, self-discipline and social skills.
Another important point that we must do as parents is to create a connection with our children, which allows us to show them the best way for them to have a happy and satisfying life.