The male child needs to be recognized as a sensitive being who is full of valid emotions and to whom we must provide tools that allow them to be more assertive and master of their realities.
A boy can become the same or more affectionate than a girl, if by educating them from an early age in adequate emotional skills, this can allow them in the future to better resolve conflicts, have greater communication skills, be more empathetic, assertive and owner of their realities.
Deficiencies in emotional education generates frustrations and insecurities
Today many of us continue to perceive in our parents and even in the younger male generations, certain shortcomings when it comes to managing and showing dimensions as complex as fear, frustration, sadness, insecurity...
When something worries, the masculine mind educated in containment, will silence what eats him for not showing what some define as "weakness of character". What's more, today we continue to see many families who continue to guide their male children to "don't cry", "be strong", or "don't do those things because you look like a girl".
We must be fully aware of validating our children's emotional states and not vetoing their time to express their feelings
When we guide a little one to be quiet, hide and drown their emotions, what we generate is frustration. If we laugh at their tears or their behavior, what we encourage is anger. It makes no sense to bring a person into the world to veto it, to put up walls around their emotions, wire fences around their feelings.
Something that many mothers and fathers who raise their son with respect and intuition will undoubtedly have experienced is that children are incredibly affectionate, close and affectionate from the beginning.
Showing love is not the exclusive territory of one gender
Tears are not feminine property, they are the natural and necessary expression of an emotion, something that we cannot veto.
This fact is interesting and should be taken into account: the brain of the male child matures more slowly than the girls, they too are more vulnerable to the effect of maternal stress during pregnancy. It is as if female neurobiology had stronger and more resilient mechanisms when dealing with negative emotions from that uterine universe.
However, we must not neglect ourselves because even in "extrauterine" life our male children need a little more attention on an emotional level than we thought at first.
A different brain, but more emotional needs
From the first months of pregnancy, various differences between the male and female brains can be seen. Male fetuses, for example, have 10% more testosterone circulating in their blood than female fetuses. This small detail already sets in motion certain differences between the two genres that are interesting to clarify.
According to an interesting study published recently and titled «Our sons: The developmental neurobiology and neuroendocrinology of children at risk, published by Allan N. Schore, boys can experience more stress than girls if they are not cared for properly.
- A mother who, for example, does not offer her son a secure, continuous and significant attachment, will mean that in the long term that boy may show more emotional disorders than a girl in the same circumstances.
- Likewise, this lack of connection affects their brain development, their emotions, their self-control and the quality of their relationships with others.
On average, and not in 100% cases, boys are more likely to show their frustration when they don't get what they want, and these reactions can often be violent.
Teaching them to manage these situations as soon as possible is key in the education of the male child
Likewise, it is common for them to go from the most extreme affection to the roughest behavior in a few seconds when something is missing, they don't like it or it bothers them. All of these are clues that their emotional management takes much longer to mature, their brains consolidate these areas more slowly than in girls and hence, we must be more attentive to this entire complex universe of the male child.
Intelligently build and motivate your male child's natural affectionateness
Your male child comes from the "factory" with infinite love, but also infinite needs. He is affectionate by nature and needs your caresses, your hugs and your closeness in an intense way from the first day he came into the world. Now, if these needs are generally more sensitive and intense than in girls, the last thing we should do is suddenly tell them that "boys don't cry, boys are brave and can solve their problems on their own." .
What we achieve is to build a wall to their emotional needs, generating confusion. From that moment on, the child will understand that talking about their desires, needs, fears and problems is "something forbidden". And with this we veto his opportunity to be assertive, empathetic to show adequate emotional communication.
The upbringing and education of the male child must be accompanied by a sensitive treatment, if your son already came into the world being affectionate, enhance that faculty, make him a child with adequate Emotional Intelligence.
You will be investing in happiness.
Original text valeria sabater