Although scolding is not usually the best way for a child to learn, if we know how to do it constructively, scolding works. We give you the keys so that they do not end up being ineffective and damaging the self-esteem of those we love the most.
By Sara Tarrés, Child Psychologist
Sometimes we must scold our children, reprimand them for their behavior, for something they have done or have not done.
Although scolding is not usually the best way for a child to learn, if we know how to do it constructively, scolding or verbal reprimands can be used from time to time.
In this article we give you the keys to scold children in a constructive way, that is, so that they have educational value and do not end up being just another ineffective form of punishment that damages the self-esteem of those we love the most.
►10 Keys to scold children constructively
Verbal reprimands should be used on specific occasions, such as when the child has carried out some type of action in which he or a third party has been put in danger or repeatedly breaks rules and limits.
Educating our children is a long process that requires time, a lot of patience and having different techniques at hand, including some corrective ones such as verbal reprimands.
We know that it is necessary to encourage discipline, but we must know how to apply it in a constructive way, preventing the child from obeying just for fear of being punished.
►10 keys to to nag in a constructive and effective way
1. The goal is always to educate, not to frighten or humiliate, so we must speak without disqualifying or embarrassing the child.
2. Avoid raising your voice, although the tone should be energetic and authoritative.
3. Do it in private, never in public and even less in front of friends.
4. Offer possible alternatives to the behavior that we are reprimanding.
5. Remember that it must be corrective and encourage reflection, so we must use language adapted to the child's age level.
6. It should not be a long sermon.
7. We must reprimand the behavior that we want to correct and not unload on our children the bad mood or accumulated fatigue.
8. Used occasionally, never as the only educational method, since it loses meaning and the child gets used to being scolded.
9. It is always better and preferable to strengthen appropriate behaviors than to punish inappropriate ones.
10. If we want our children to learn to behave appropriately, we must offer them good models and examples at home, we cannot require our children to react calmly to adversity if we lose control every time they do something we don't like.
Children learn by imitation and modeling, they need rules and limits, but mostly good behavioral references to follow.
Font: Child Guide