There are children who want to be the first and the best in everything always. Through certain behaviors, children often carry implicit pressure to be the best, and this affects them negatively.
There are children who want to be the first and the best in everything always. They “compete” to achieve it at school, in any activity or game with their friends, with their siblings, etc.
When we meet a child who wants to be the first in everything, we must observe how old he is.
When the little ones are three and four years old, it is normal for them to always want to be the first and win in all the games.
At this age they are in a stage that is characterized by egocentrism. That is, for them everything revolves around them.
►On the other hand, if the child when he is older (10 years old) presents competitive behaviors such as:
– Thinking that he is going to lose and, therefore, he prefers not to play.
– Whenever he loses, it is the fault of others.
– Be a perfectionist and not tolerate your own mistakes.
– Be more aware of winning and be the first to enjoy the activity.
Adults should be alert as this is no longer normal behavior, as this type of behavior will evolve as the little ones grow and mature.
►Why children can be very competitive
In today's society, a lot of importance is attached to qualifications and results. This means that when parents turn to the education of their children, they do so paying more attention to what "others" demand than to what the little one needs.
This social pressure, in addition to the general disorientation of parents who often do not know what their role is in their children's education, inadvertently end up using comparison with others as a central educational tool.
This implies a pressure on the child to be the best that affects him in a negative way.
►What to do if the child always wants to win
That the child is competitive in a healthy way is good since it allows them to improve, achieve success and be happy.
The problem comes when there is excessive competitiveness as it causes the obsession of always wanting to be first, loneliness and unhappiness causing low self-esteem in the child, stress and little tolerance for frustration.
►To avoid that attitude of always wanting to be the first and excessive competitiveness, we can:
– Do not demand too much of the child. It will be important for him to push himself and try to win but it will not be the most important thing. If he doesn't get it, don't blame him.
– Teach and remember that the important thing when doing something is to enjoy and learn. You don't always win.
– Reward and value the effort even if it has not won. You have to motivate, not push.
– Explain the negative consequences of being so competitive.
– Promote in the child values such as tolerance, effort, being empathetic, cooperative, etc.
– Never compare with other children or with their siblings.
– Teach that it is not necessary to be perfect. To err is positive and helps to advance.
Font: Children's Guide